Idiot!
by hikachii-eun
Summary: Former right hand man/mafioso becomes a bodyguard. At first he didn't like the idea, but it was for his boss's sake that he did it. And the client, former athlete turned multi-millionaire who's an idiot and have hots for him. 8059, semi-auish, & rated M
1. Drunk

First 80x59 fic ! ;3

Hika doesn't own KHR! :3

OOC and please read at your own risk!

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Chapter one

Drunk

"That idiot!" a silver head muttered as he carried a drunken black haired man out of the Hotel's Gazebo area. The drunken man looked up and started to speak, "h-h-hey…Ha-Ha-Hayato~" he slurred making the silver head felt irritated. "Shit… here it goes again…" he thought as he felt the drunken was rubbing his butt.

"Try to calm down now… Try to calm down…" he repeated those words as if he was reciting a sutra. Finally entering the Hotel's Lobby he quickly, well actually pushed the drunken man towards the couched and hurried towards the receptionist.

"Excuse me about the reservation before I would like to get the keys now." The silver head said irritated making the receptionist shivered in fear and quickly handed the key to the man. "H-here… it is sir…" the receptionist gulped and continued, "The luggage has already been sent towards the room." "Oh thank you…" the silver head said as he turned to face the drunken man.

The drunken man was now standing up and was doing silly things such as dancing with an old lady who also happens to be drunk as well. The silver head covered his eyes with his hand and the other was now forming a fist.

The drunken man who was dancing with the drunken old lady had started laughing, "Oh dear you are adorable… and also a such a great dancer darling hahaha do you want to go with me every Friday night and do some Rumba haha" the old lady slurred as they continued to dance wildly. People passing by started laughing at what the two drunkards were doing, they weren't doing rumba but actually doing a ritual dance that shows their drunkenness.

"THAT IDIOT I'M GONNA PLACE ONE OF MY DYNAMITES IN HIS ASS IF HE DOESN'T STOP!" the silver head screamed as he release his killing intent near the reception area, making the receptionist shivered and started to cry a like a baby.

Gokudera Hayato couldn't stand this anymore the more he look at the drunken man the more his blood boiled making it from the earlier 300 degrees Celsius to the now 1000 degrees Celsius. The drunken man finally stops dancing with the drunken old lady as he saw the silver head coming towards him. "Oh hi Hayato want to dance?" he said smiling this made Gokudera irritated as he grabbed the man's collar.

"STOP THIS NONSENSE… IDI-…" before the silver head could finished his sentence, he was blocked a by a kiss. 'What the fuck! Yamamoto Takeshi y-you…hmph…mph…hu-…' Gokudera mentally screamed as the drunken man was still kissing the silver head. Gokudera tried to push the man away but he could not. Everyone both inside the lobby, those who entered and was about exit stared at the inappropriate yet intense scene right in the middle of the lobby.

Ladies started gulped as if they felt the kiss, men who saw it felt weird as if they want to throw up but kept staring at them. The drunken old lady was screaming and saying, "Go get him sonny! Touch his frankfurter!" this made Gokudera felt embarrassed as he heard the drunken old lady saying weird things. And the drunken man who happens to be listening to the old lady started to move his hands towards the silver head's lower part.

Gokudera felt the touched and this made the man now pissed off and… "STOP IT YOU FUCKING IDIOT! IF YOU DON'T STOP… I'M GOING TO PLACE A DYNAMITE IN YOUR FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

Everyone at lobby quickly walked away after hearing the silver head's outburst the drunken man who was now lying on the ground unconscious. Gokudera sighed as he grabbing the unconscious man from the ground and head towards the elevator. Meanwhile the drunken old lady was still in delusional face and was saying, "SONNY ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT WITH HIM?" before collapsing on the couch and fell asleep.

...

Meanwhile at the elevator the drunken Yamamoto Takeshi gave a silly smile and whispered almost inaudible, "I'm going to have sex with Haya-chan…~"

Arriving at the room, Gokudera opened the door a dropped the drunken man hard and screamed as if he finally saw hell. "SHIT! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!" he quickly look at the drunken man on the ground, who was now awake. "Oh hi… Haya-chan… I'm sleepy… I think I won't have sex with you tonight I'm just going to sleep now… "Yamamoto Takeshi stood up still tipsy and was about to move when Gokudera quickly grabbed his collar again. "IDIOT DIDN'T YOU TELL THE RECEPTIONIST THAT IT SHOULD BE A TWO BEDROOM! WHY A DELUXE ROOM! A WORST A HUGE GLASS WINDOW!" Gokudera's temper has now reached code red and was ready to kill the man.

"Oh the deluxe room… oh you see I told the receptionist that I'm with my wife and I want a deluxe room…" Yamamoto said smiling making the silver head's eyebrow twitch and took out his dynamite. "YOU REALLY WANT TO DIE NOW… YOU IDIOT…" Gokudera said seriously, Yamamoto who only stared at the silver head slowly pushing the angry Gokudera towards the bed.

Reaching the bed the two collapse in the bed and was now staring at each other, Gokudera who was angry before was now looking surprised and couldn't help but stared at the man on top of him. "Shit… what's this feeling?" he thought as he continued to gaze through the man eyes.

Yamamoto who was staring intensely to the now surprised silver head, he smirked and leans towards to the silver head and touch its lips. At first the kiss was just light but slowly the tongue started to move. As the kiss continues the black haired man quickly took off the man's black suit and red neck tie and was unbuttoning the pink dress shirt.

From the lips the black haired man slowly moved towards the man's right ear. Nibbling the silver head's ear, Gokudera Hayato couldn't help but felt aroused. Yamamoto who felt the silver head's lower part now erect, he smirked as he unbuttoned the silver head's pants. Unzipping the zipper he then touched the silver head's now hard groin, "Aww… n-no… y-you i-i-idiot…" as Gokudera stuttered he suddenly felt the weight of the black haired man. His green eyes widened as he saw the man who was now asleep and was using his groin as if it was a hotdog pillow… correction a small hotdog pillow.

Gokudera stayed on the bed for a while and staring at the small chandelier, "I really hate you… you idiot…" he said now standing up and pulling the sleeping man on the bed.

"I'm going to take a shower now…" the silver said to himself as he opened his luggage and took out new clothes.

...

While the silver head was on the bathroom, a pair of masked men easily slipped into the room and saw the black haired man sleeping peacefully on the bed. "He's Yamamoto Takeshi right?" one of the men said and the other nodded. "Yeah it's him alright…" "Let's hurry up and finished the job…" one of the masked men said as he took out a vial and a large syringe.

Turning off the shower, the silver head cursed as he accidentally left his clothes at the room. Wrapping the towel on his waist he opens the bathroom and saw two masked males holding a syringe. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ASSASSINS?" Gokudera who rushed towards the two, he then quickly kicked one of the assassins and managed to grab the man's two hands.

The other man was surprised and took put his knife was headed towards the silver head, Gokudera was surprised and quickly evaded it but it made him loosen the gripped on the first man making the man get away and had grabbed the silver head's hands and facing on the ground. "Shit… if only I didn't take off my weapon these bastards would have been barbeques by now." He thought as he saw the perverted smirks the two were given.

"Hey… look this guy… not bad…" "Yeah… that bastard's really lucky to have such a beautiful lover…" one of them said as he licked his lips making the silver head twitched. "Hmm… why don't we play him for a while after all, his ass is looking as delicious as those AV actresses…" the two started to laugh making the silver head felt grossed.

Gokudera was now pissed off to the extreme, "uh what's wrong- …" one of them asked but ended up…

"AH!"

Yamamoto suddenly woke up and saw the whole scene, the now naked silver head who was on berserk mode and beating the assassins to pulp. "TODAY I HAVE THE WORST DAY AND YOU GUYS JUST ADDED IT!THANKS! I FUCKING APPRECIATE IT! THAT'S WHY… NOOOOOOWWWWW DIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" Yamamoto saw the silver head took out his dynamites now light up, this made the black haired rush in and took the dynamites and threw it at the toilet.

"Hayato stop it already! You could kill those guys!" Yamamoto tried to calm down his bodyguard. "WHO CARES! IT'S NOT THAT I HAVEN'T KILLED SOMEONE BEFORE!" the silver head continued to kick the unconscious assassins like there's no tomorrow.

...

In the morning, a brown haired spiky man sighed as he asked the other menin suits to take out the two almost dead assassins from the room. He sighed as he saw the whole room being destroyed and his client who now has a black eye on his left eye still smiling and a very pissed silver head who was wearing a pair of pants and a has a cigarette on his mouth.

The brown haired man couldn't help but sighed, "I think I need to two advil… stat…"

...

"I'm back…" Gokudera said as he took off his shoes and went inside the living room. "Gokudera-kun welcome back, Tsuna-kun has been waiting for you at his office." A girl with long light brown hair smiled as she was heading towards the kitchen. "Ah yes thank you…" he said as he headed towards the stairs.

...

Okies that's chapter one! ;3 hehe ok the story is actually inspired by the yaoi mangas that I have read before so it has a smut part hahaha by the way I'm sorry I really sucked at creating fighting scenes so please use your imagination if ever. My intention was to make the story funny hahaha so that's all I hope that everyone who read this will find it funny...but i think it wasn't hehehe D

Thank you! :3


	2. Past

So here's chapter 2! :3

A/N:I've used some Japanese words…

Takeshi is filthy stinking rich here and he owns a mansion too

OCCness and OCs

Italics are flashbacks

This chapter is full of flashbacks...

Do not own KHR either is McDonalds...

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_The day that I first met you... was the day I have decided to move forward… _

"_Hey…idiot… sitting in the trash won't solve anything…" the smell of alcohol and cigarette mix in your scent… you pulled my collar and gave me a kiss…_

_That was the first time that we met… but… _

_You don't even remember me… now_

"Sir, you have a lunch meeting with Mr. Kawasaki at noon." The secretary had said as she closes her black organizer. Yamamoto smiled as he turned his chair towards facing the glass window, "Cancel the meeting, and please tell Mr. Kawasaki that I'll reschedule the meeting." "Understood sir…" the secretary said as she fixed her glasses and was about go out of her boss's office when suddenly, "Oh please contact Miss Miura and tell her the lunch will be at Alejandro's thanks." The boss said grinning at his secretary. The secretary gave a superficial smile before exiting the office.

Outside Yamamoto's office, the Secretary gave an ugly frown, "Damn you Takeshi! Who do you think your Aunt is your dog who would keep wiggling her tail for you! If it weren't for your father I could have…" "You'd what?" a threatening voice had said making the secretary surprised and saw who it was. "Oh it was you Gokudera-san…" she gave again her superficial smile and added a fake laugh.

Gokudera gave a deadly glared at the secretary, underneath his legs a small girl with long black hair tied in pigtails suddenly pop out. "Oh if isn't Taka-chan" she said again with that smile. The small girl hides quickly at back of the silver haired bodyguard. Gokudera knew the small girl was frightened, forgetting the secretary he leans down and carried the girl in his arms. "Alright Takashi-ojousama let's go see your idiotic dad." With this, it made the girl smiled and nodded.

Before entering the office, the bodyguard gave the secretary a glared, this made the secretary stared at him and started blushing. "Kyaa! Gokudera-sama is so cool!"

Inside the office, Yamamoto smiled as he gave his daughter a warm hug. "Baka to-chan!" Takashi said as she gave her dad a hug and a pat on the head. "So what brings you here Taka-chan?" her father said making Takashi frowned, "Baka to-chan! How many times did I tell you to call me Takashi!" she whined as she started flailing her arms making Yamamoto chuckled at his daughter's antics. "It's because Taka-chan is so cute just like my Haya-chan here." This made Gokudera glared and pointed the rainbow colored dynamite at his boss's face, "If you call me that again I swear I'll make sure your going to eat the rainbow colored dynamite that specially I brought just for you… right here RIGHT NOW..." the silver head bodyguard threaten his employer who was still laughing "Nice joke koi" 'YOU IDIOT!'

Gokudera sighed as he stared at the father and daughter, Yamamoto was carrying his princess up and down and Takashi started hitting his father telling him to stop holding her and started calling her father pervert...

'It's been five years since I started working for him…' he thought as he remembered the man came in the Tenth's office asking for his services.

_After the Tenth had disbanded Vongola, he decided to start a Security Agency. Of course everyone including his father was against the disbandment but he knew it was for the better. After the disbandment, the brunet returned to his hometown and used his house as the office of the Sawada Security Agency. Surprsingly all his guardians had stayed with him and help his new business. _

Gokudera look at his belt and touch the metal, he knew wasn't part of mafia anymore…

"_Hey Tsuna, I like him! I'm taking him…" he gave his silly grin at the silver head. This made Gokudera scowled at him. 'What the hell was that?' he thought as he gave the man his infamous glare. But he was still smiling, which made him blushed and remembered something yet it was blur. _

_Entering the man's mansion he was greeted by a young lady with long brown hair wearing a dark pink kimono. "Welcome to the Yamamoto residence, my name is Asako I'm the housekeeper of the Takeshi-sama's mansion" she bowed down making the silver head bowed down as well as sign of respect._

_At the second floor, he noticed the room beside the master bedroom and was slightly open which made him wonder. "Oh that is the Takashi-ojousama's room" the housekeeper said. "Takashi-ojousama?" he asked. "Yes, she is Takeshi-sama's daughter." 'He has a daughter?' this made him more curious about his employer. _

_The housekeeper continued, "Takashi-ojousama was actually born out of wedlock and the lady's mother did not want to do anything with her in which leads to Takeshi-sama taking care of her." The housekeeper then enters the room with the bodyguard following her, there he saw the baby sleeping quietly in her crib. He couldn't help but remember his mother… it seems both him and the baby have some similarities. _

_Few more seconds the baby's eyes open making the bodyguard startle, instead for the baby to cry it only stared at him. The housekeeper couldn't help but gave a chuckle, "What's so funny about?" the man question the laughing young woman. "It's just that I never seen Takashi-ojousama stared at stranger, she usually cry whenever she saw someone she doesn't know." The housekeeper smiled making the bodyguard blushed. _

_After seeing the baby, the two headed down towards the dining room. This made the bodyguard curious about the girl, 'She's so young like 15? Then why is she working here?' he thought when he suddenly ask. "Umm Asako-san I would like to ask something…" "Yes what is it Gokudera-san?" the young woman said. "Asako-san, how old are you now? And it seems that you're not just an ordinary…" before the bodyguard could finish his sentence 4 pieces of silver butter knives came towards him and hit the wall. _

"_Oh my… I'm sorry Gokudera-kun I thought I saw a fly…" she gave the silver head a cheery smile. He gulped as he look at the young woman, "Well you see Gokudera-san I'm already 20 years old though I look 5 years younger... it's a normal thing that people mistaken me as a minor." She gave again her cheery smile. "And yes I too was a hitman…before I quit two years ago…" she smirked making the silver head blinked and remember, "W-W-WAIT! YOU'RE THE HITMAN WHO TRIED TO KILL THE TENTH! WHY I OUGHTA-" the silver head charged towards the housekeeper. _

_As the two continued to battle, the housekeeper threw her butter knifes as well as 2 pairs of scissors and 3 forks towards the bodyguard. Gokudera had managed to shield the attack and pointed his weapon to shoot the girl. Asako quickly evaded the hit which cause the large flower vase to shattered. The two look at the vase, and suddenly "Ah! The vase!" Asako shrieked as the piece were scattered on the red carpet._

"_What was that noise?" the two look as the Master of the house came in the dining hall. The bodyguard gulped and the housekeeper started laughing. Yamamoto stared at the two before speaking, "Oh if you guys wanted to play base ball you could have said so hahaha" this made Gokudera react, quickly glanced at the housekeeper he saw a wooden bat and baseball ball on the floor beside the shattered vase. _

_After the master left the dining hall the two stared at each other, "What's the meaning of this? Asako the housekeeper." He said in an angry tone but the girl kept smiling. "You see after the Tenth defeated me. I quit being a hitman and in fact I actually came from the same agency as well…" "WAIT! BUT THE TENTH DIDN'T SAID ANYTHING TO ME!" "I contacted the Tenth after I found out he was starting the Security Agency business and luckily after calling he recommended me here then was hired as a housekeeper and as well as a bodyguard." She smiled making the bodyguard frowned making Asako squealed. "Kya Haya-chan's so cute!" Gokudera blushed making him more furious, "AH SHUT UP YOU STUPID HOUSEKILLER!" "IT'S HOUSEKEEPER! BODYGROPER!" "WHEN THE HELL DID I BECAME A GROPER!"_

He sighed as he remembers his first meeting the Lady and the housekiller. "Hayato…" the small girl said as she tugged the silver head's pants. "Yes, Ojousama…" "We're going to McDonald's baka to-chan said we can all go!" she said as he looked at his employer who was smiling at him.

Gokudera couldn't help but blushed at his employer's smile. As the three came out of the office, Yamamoto told his secretary that the venue has changed tell Miss Miura to go to McDonalds instead.

At the car, Gokudera scowled as he was seated at the passenger seat. "Please tell me why am I sitting here? Where I'm supposed to be the one driving." He said almost shouting. "Hehe is there something wrong? Haya-chan and besides in this setting we look like one happy family…"

"HAPPY FAMILY MY ASS WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? YOUR WIFE?" Gokudera screamed when suddenly a certain housekeeper pop out at the back seat together with the small girl. "Oka-chan could you please stop fighting with oto-chan… we're going to McDonalds" Asako said smiling making the silver head's veins popped out.

_Soft moans were heard as you begged for more… "M-more…ah… h-harder…" tears were flowing yet you never said stop… nipping the ear… I look at your arousing face…longing to be embrace…_

"_Please… more…"_

End of chapter 2

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A/N: wee! It's done and dunno if it was funny well some part that is

I've put some ocs here hahaha

Takeshi is not a guardian here because he's a businessman and a daddy here! :3

Takashi is Takeshi's daughter, she is partly (maybe wholly) raised by Haya-chan. Just like Haya-chan she dislike being called Taka-chan and seemingly inherited some of Haya-chan's traits.

Asako the housekeeper, the oc I made she was inspired by Sebastian.

The evil secretary and yes she's evil…

To everyone who reviewed, alerted and fave it! Thank you very much

Indeed Drunk Takeshi is love… :3

…

Omake:

The sound of chopping was loudly heard inside the kitchen. Gokudera was in a bad mood as he continued to _chop _the finely chopped onion more, remembering the overly hyper housekeeper insisted in picking up his sister from the bus station with the young lady. He sighed as he placed the super finely chopped onion in a small glass bowl together with the other super finely chopped ingredients and started to peel the potato.

Yamamoto headed towards the kitchen asking for Asako if there were left over of Apple pie she baked earlier. The bodyguard was wearing his white dress shirt without his tie and two buttons open revealing his whitish neck and was wearing the infamous white frilly apron and his silver hair was tied in a ponytail exposing his nape.

Focusing on the potatoes Gokudera who didn't notice someone was inside the kitchen aside from him. While continuing to peel, he then felt someone was kissing his neck. "Ah! Get off of me you pervert!" he said as he tried to pushed his employer face away but too bad his employer was a little bigger than him and his gripped was strong.

His employer didn't listen to the silver head's protest and started licking the bodyguard's nape towards his ear which is his weak spot. Gokudera couldn't help but felt arouse at his employer's touch. "ah… ah…"

Somewhere outside the kitchen in the hallway, "Bianchi san it's been a while seen you visited Hayato-chan! And thank you for bringing these… _delicious_ cake…" Asako said smiling as she leads the pinkish haired woman towards the kitchen together with the young lady.

As soon as they open the door the three ladies stared the very lovely scene…

Green eyes widened as he saw the three ladies stared at them. The bodyguard was pinned on the wooden table, the upper part of his white apron was folded down and his white dress shirt was loosely off revealing his white shoulders full of red spots. Above him was his employer who was smiling at them.

Asako's eyes were sparkling looking at them, Bianchi was only staring at them and Takashi was blushing at them.

And few more seconds the three ladies went out of the kitchen and locking the door…

"WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THIS PERVERT!"

"Isn't it a lovely day Bianchi-san, Ojousama… would you like some egg tart that I brought earlier and the cake would both you like it with earl grey tea or milk tea?" Asako smiled deviously as she presented the two boxes that she was holding earlier.

"Anything please…" the Bianchi answered smiling and Takashi nodded blushing.

...

The infamous white frilly apron – you guys get the picture right? hehe ;3

Ciao ciao! :3


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